The Gatekeeper To My Heart

On May 23, 2014 at 10:38pm my life as I knew it changed. In other words, “shit just got real!” My son took his first breath and in a blink of an eye I had a greater purpose in life. For 9 months I’ve carried him, trying to prepare myself for the day he would arrive. But word of advice mommy to be’s out there, nothing, and I mean nothing, can ever really prepare you.

The night I went into labor was just like any other night. I had no idea that in a couple hours I would meet the being I created. As the onset of contractions became stronger and I finally realized that this could be it, anxiety set in. I had taken no classes, watched no videos and have only heard horror stories about child birth. Now I know you’re probably thinking, “What the hell were you thinking? No Lamaze, no books, no video, you’re crazy!” But I had waited too long to take the classes and I figured I didn’t want to scare myself any more by watching a video. So I was going into child birth completely blind.

18 hours and an epidural later, I laid eyes on the best friend I’ll ever have. As I held him in my arms for the first time, speechless, my eyes filled with tears of another kind. The love I felt was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, undying, unrelenting, everlasting and  my heart became heavy, filled with promises that only he and I will ever share. I was holding a piece of me. Feeling him breathe on my chest made me thank God as I know woman is made of mans rib, but in this instance, he was made of mine. How wonderful, how strong, how amazing, woman is to make life. What a beautiful blessing it is that I am the woman he chose.

As the first couple hours ticked away, I was in awe. Locked in a stare at the face that I just couldn’t believe looked just like me. Running my fingers through his hair, down his cheek and coming to his ear, my heart skipped a beat. It’s so surreal that this very ear that I am now stroking is the only ear that’s heard my heartbeat from the inside. This ear, my sons ear, slept, danced and was comforted by the sound of it. And so I say, Kenji Bryce that makes you the gatekeeper and the only person who holds the key to my heart.

I didn’t know a year ago that this was what was in store for me but I share with you today that having my son was the greatest gift I could’ve ever received. The cocktail of emotions is overwhelming but I feel accomplished, complete and most of all I feel like I have meaning again. This new journey won’t always be easy I understand but I can’t wait to get through it all with him by my side. With each up we will smile, with each down we will cry and best of all with each win we will celebrate. That alone is enough to make me want to push through it all.

Just For the Men

Spring is in full bloom and that means wedding season is in full stride! We hear all the time that weddings are alllllll about the women but fella’s it’s your day too and of coarse you want to look like Prince Charming as your beautiful bride walks towards you on that big day. So today I decided to dedicate this just for the men! Bonobos is a line of suits designed with a mans comfort in mind. Their new line of seersucker suits are great for all those men looking for spring time wedding comfort. Check them out and enjoy!


10% Tuesday- Spring Obsessions

As the Cali sun is in full bloom it’s time to get my closet ready for the sunny days and cool nights approaching. As always it’s Tuesday which means 10% off at Piperlime (use code: TUESDAY at checkout). Here are my obsessions this season!


Preparing For An Alien.. I Mean Baby!

At 25 weeks I’m starting to slow down while the reality is speeding up. Crap, is that even possible!!? I swear each day it gets more real and each inch gets more tight. It’s setting in that my little man will be here sooner than I know it and I haven’t got one gosh darn thing done. As a first time mom, I’m grappling with the fact that there is a lot that I won’t plan for (of coarse that just bothers my type A personality to the core), a lot I WILL forget and a lot I won’t realize I missed or even needed until the little monkey is in my arms. But after countless hours of research and many talks with other mommies out there, I have finally made my preparation list. So in the next few weeks these are the things I will focus on before my boy gets here!! (Aaahhh the countdown is approaching!!)

  • Make a baby registry. As we all know my blog steamed from my quarter life brokenness soooo with a new addition coming, I will need all the help I can. I’ve been told to not leave anything out and put it ALL down ’cause people are willing and actually want to help new parents!! SCORE, works for me! Some places to start are:
    1. Babies R Us
    2. Buy Buy Baby
    3. BabyList (’s you put things from Etsy, amazon and Buy Buy Baby, vertically any store onto one registry.
    4. Myregisty.comalso let’s you can combine multiple stores into one.
  • Buy a crib. Yes, I live in a one bedroom with myself, my boyfriend and his 4 year old son. Yes, we plan on living there for another year. SOOOOOOO,  adding a baby crib to our already packed situation is going to be tough, seeing as I am an organizational, neat freak. But it’s necessary! Room upgrade here we come!
  • Cardinal rule #1- CAR SEAT- you need one to take the baby home!!
  • Attend a childbirth preparation class. Because being scared s***less really isn’t going to go over well when the time comes so I’d much rather be somewhat prepared on what’s to be expected. (You can find out more about classes through your doctor, which is the cheapest way, or any of your local birth centers.)
  • To breast feed or not to breast feed. Despite what some mothers may tell you or what you hear in the media, breast feeding is, yes good for your baby, however a personal choice! You have every right to say no to breast feeding if it is not for you. The only and best way to know is by, a) educating yourself and b) preparing.  But above and beyond anything just read up on all the facts and make the choice the best suites YOU!
  • Take lots of photos of my belly!! ‘Cause it’s a one in a million experience!



Please help me in welcoming my best friends new twin babies! I am soo happy for him and cannot wait to meet these little buggies. WELCOME TO FATHERHOOD! Seeing these precious beings has really put my own pregnancy into perspective. As it get’s closer to the time when I will get to hold my own little guy, it’s really starting to get more stressful, scary and most of all exciting.


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