Career Meet Motherhood

I can’t say this enough.. Being a mother is the hardest job you will ever take on. It’s rewarding, it’s gratifying and yes very fulfilling, but I tell you it’s not for the faint or weary. I’ve become the best darn juggler around, a jack of all trades- one hat, two hat, three hat, four.. No this isn’t Dr. Seuss it’s called WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD!

Sleepless nights meet 5am.. Get up shower, no did that last night.. WAIT did I.. Ok, get son ready, diaper bag packed- CHECK- insert in car.. WAIT I look like shit- changed one diaper… shit now your pooping!! -_- (really dude…) Make-up… no wait hair, where are my shoes?? Just get out the damn door… Car seat, car seat, car seat…. Drop baby off by 6:30am- teacher, oh please not nowwww… and finally get my hot mess ass to work by 7am SHARP!

I am career woman hear me… BREAK DOWN!

Long gone are the days when I used to stay out all night, DRUNK, with my besties just to pop out of bed and jump into work without skipping a beat. Dear 21 year old me.. PLEASE COME BACK! It was that simple and that easy.

These days I am lucky if I can even get my hair up in a bun and some mascara on. Between every 3 hour feedings, punches and jabs from a restless or dreaming baby and dirty diapers.. tons and tons of dirty diapers… I have forgotten the meaning of sleep. Now couple that with the fact that I work full time in a demanding and rigorous environment where my boss doesn’t give two shits that I didn’t get a full nights rest…. You have a recipe for FML pie! 

2 hours sleep + 9 hour work days = missing my son every second, minute, hour. Seeing that I have not won the lotto YET (still working on that dream), working full time is just what this mama bear has to do. BUT it’s no easy walk I tell ya. Most days I feel like I am scaling Mt. Everest, but the picture of my smiling son pushes me to continue to push forward in my career. I want to afford him the luxuries I wasn’t and the only way to do that is to put on my big girl panties.

Being a career woman is something I have always wanted though. I am a hard worker, willing to put in the time and effort to get the job done, always the first person in and last person to leave. But then, along came baby.

Now quote me when I say career and baby can absolutely co-exist and those that make that happen are what Maya Angelou calls, PHENOMENAL WOMAN. Now let it be known though that I am not trying to take away from the SAHM’s out there as I would never dare bring my lips to quiver what do you do all day ;) …. But all you career woman, pat yourself on the back, give yourself two snaps, shit, down a couple shots girls.. Cause if you are this person, you absolutely deserve to be recognized.

I know that being mom and meeting my career goals will never be an easy marriage but I do hope that I can always meet my expectations as well as my son’s. It will always be a struggle and sometimes one or the other may suffer but I vow this:

Dear Kenji,

Mommy loves you very much. Remember that life is made up of a series of laughter and tears coupled with a lot of compromises and sacrifices. I sacrifice time with you to give you the life you deserve and compromise my job responsibilities to meet your needs. If there is anything I want you to always remember it is that even though mom can’t spend every second of the day with you (and believe me, I wish I could), I promise to never miss a first moment, a soccer game, recital, holiday or birthday. ‘Cause ultimately baby, it’s not about the materials that one possess but rather the memories, the only thing one can take after this life.

Always & Forever,

Mommy

AND.. I am MOTHER

So absolutely no one told me that after you have a baby you totally lose yourself to poopy diapers and spilled formula. For the last 5 months my life has been full of joy, excitement and yes a feeling of complete and utter chaos. First time mommy brain, first time mommy scares, first time mommy everything has been in full effect and even now, although my little man can roll from one side to the other and back again, I still touch his back every five minutes to make sure he is still breathing.

Things no one prepares you for:

  1. Lies that you can look cute before, during or after you just give birth
  2. You will never be the same down there….
  3. The first time you hear your baby cry you become a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger- LIKE GIVE EM’ TO ME… NOOOOOWWW!
  4. Your baby will poop everywhere!
  5. Breast feeding is the hardest commitment you will ever make (my story to come soon)
  6. Baby lungs get louder {Insert mute button here}
  7. The first few days aren’t the hardest, try not sleeping for uhhhh 2 weeks then tell me what is harder
  8. Melting bottles is possible
  9. Rocking chairs save lives
  10. Showers are non-existent for at least a month post-baby

It’s a job that is messy, a job that is exhausting but at the end of that statement the only thing left to say is that it’s the only job worth every lost hour of sleep. Being a mother has changed me and as the saying goes, I had no idea what I was living for until my prince arrived. He is the air I breathe, the earth I walk on, the moon and stars that light my night and the sun that brightens up my every day.

So after all that my loves.. I AM MOTHER!

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The Gatekeeper To My Heart

On May 23, 2014 at 10:38pm my life as I knew it changed. In other words, “shit just got real!” My son took his first breath and in a blink of an eye I had a greater purpose in life. For 9 months I’ve carried him, trying to prepare myself for the day he would arrive. But word of advice mommy to be’s out there, nothing, and I mean nothing, can ever really prepare you.

The night I went into labor was just like any other night. I had no idea that in a couple hours I would meet the being I created. As the onset of contractions became stronger and I finally realized that this could be it, anxiety set in. I had taken no classes, watched no videos and have only heard horror stories about child birth. Now I know you’re probably thinking, “What the hell were you thinking? No Lamaze, no books, no video, you’re crazy!” But I had waited too long to take the classes and I figured I didn’t want to scare myself any more by watching a video. So I was going into child birth completely blind.

18 hours and an epidural later, I laid eyes on the best friend I’ll ever have. As I held him in my arms for the first time, speechless, my eyes filled with tears of another kind. The love I felt was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, undying, unrelenting, everlasting and  my heart became heavy, filled with promises that only he and I will ever share. I was holding a piece of me. Feeling him breathe on my chest made me thank God as I know woman is made of mans rib, but in this instance, he was made of mine. How wonderful, how strong, how amazing, woman is to make life. What a beautiful blessing it is that I am the woman he chose.

As the first couple hours ticked away, I was in awe. Locked in a stare at the face that I just couldn’t believe looked just like me. Running my fingers through his hair, down his cheek and coming to his ear, my heart skipped a beat. It’s so surreal that this very ear that I am now stroking is the only ear that’s heard my heartbeat from the inside. This ear, my sons ear, slept, danced and was comforted by the sound of it. And so I say, Kenji Bryce that makes you the gatekeeper and the only person who holds the key to my heart.

I didn’t know a year ago that this was what was in store for me but I share with you today that having my son was the greatest gift I could’ve ever received. The cocktail of emotions is overwhelming but I feel accomplished, complete and most of all I feel like I have meaning again. This new journey won’t always be easy I understand but I can’t wait to get through it all with him by my side. With each up we will smile, with each down we will cry and best of all with each win we will celebrate. That alone is enough to make me want to push through it all.

Just For the Men

Spring is in full bloom and that means wedding season is in full stride! We hear all the time that weddings are alllllll about the women but fella’s it’s your day too and of coarse you want to look like Prince Charming as your beautiful bride walks towards you on that big day. So today I decided to dedicate this just for the men! Bonobos is a line of suits designed with a mans comfort in mind. Their new line of seersucker suits are great for all those men looking for spring time wedding comfort. Check them out and enjoy!

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10% Tuesday- Spring Obsessions

As the Cali sun is in full bloom it’s time to get my closet ready for the sunny days and cool nights approaching. As always it’s Tuesday which means 10% off at Piperlime (use code: TUESDAY at checkout). Here are my obsessions this season!

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